I've been packing all week. Stressing about it. Setting out heaps of stuff, whittling it down, discovering that it doesn't all fit in the bag I planned to take, re-whittling it, re-filling the bag, and it all fits, but with no room to spare and a few things left over. This went on for a few days. Finally I decided I'd have to take more than a carry-on size bag as my main suitcase, and went rummaging through the family suitcase collection. Tried out three different suitcases. Nothing quite fit the bill, until finally I went deeper into the scary attic and found...the bag. Lots of compartments, wheeled, yet soft-shell, not too big, yet large enough for all the essentials with some space left over to add things along the journey if necessary.
Packing has consumed my energies, but last night, I read Jesus' instructions to the different groups of people HE sent out on short term trips, and the first instruction he gives them is...don't take ANYTHING. No money, no extra clothes, no staff, nothing. Now I know why.
Do I trust Jesus enough to venture off into the unknown with NOTHING but his promises to support me? Nope. I spend a whole week packing and repacking and re-re-packing to avoid unpleasantness.
Faith gets tricky. Yes, I say I trust Jesus. Yes, I know Jesus can and does provide for me, and I know He is my good Shepherd. But when it comes right down to it, I spend way more time folding and re-folding clothing and stuffing stuff into pockets of a duffel than I do getting to know Jesus. Hmmm. Or even preparing myself spiritually for all the battles I will face these next few months. Or rooting myself, and my identity in Christ. Big hmmmmmmm.
On a different note, I have been learning a lot more about freedom in Christ and identity in Christ, but I think I need to wait to post on that. Keep praying that God would drive these lessons of faith, freedom, and identity in Christ deep into my heart, and that my treasure would not be stuff in my suitcase, or on my bookshelves, or in any earthly place, but rather in heaven, that I would trust Christ more than myself or my stuff.
I'm now totally packed up and I'm off on Monday!
