"Troppo" means too much, and that's the title because I have too much to blog about. I have tried to blog about three or four different things, but without being able to get my thoughts together, so this post will be a short hodgepodge of things I have been thinking about.
Singleness. I feel so alone this month. I haven't really clicked with anyone in this new class. I'm the only Christian, the only one waiting for sex till marriage, the only one who doesn't like to get drunk or high on the weekends, except for Lucia, who is the only Italian, older and married. I click best with her, but we don't hang out after class because she goes home to her husband and her life! The other night I had a long conversation with my roommmates trying to explain why I live the way I do, and attempting to explain that it's not to keep rules, it's because I love Jesus and want to please Him.
Arrogance. I find myself feeling judged because of my stances, but find myself judging right back. I judge those who are not culturally sensitive, who speak English loudly and act like they own the world just because they speak English, seeming to expect everyone to bow down to them. The brits are almost as bad as the americans on this point, at least here in Florence. There was the conversation at lunch the other day, all about the negatives of Italian culture by people who can't say more than grazie in Italian and have never entered into another culture in their whole life. Yet I find myself arrogantly judging them instead of loving.
IR vs IC Kandice helped me come up with this one. There are two kinds of international travellers: international relaters and internatuonal consumers. IR care about culture and try to learn and follow the culture of the places they go. IC go to get what they can out of the place, but whine a lot about what things they miss from home. A lot of people I meet this month are IC, and its hard to restrain myself from speaking sharply or slapping those who want to import their whole world over here to live, instead of adapting to this new world and exploring the benefits it offers. More of my friends I. Rome were IR, they accepted me without judging me for my lifestyle, and I miss them.
But where is the love of Christ in all of these criticisms of those I am with? The Lord has been asking me if I only love those who love me, and I am afraid in this lst week and a half the answer is yes. I am no better than the worst sinners, because wven they love those who love them. Please pray with me that I can love even those who are so unlike me and who dislike me, who hold wrong opinions. Pray that I can be more like Jesus in humility and in love. Otherwise, what's the point?
One final thing: I have no idea what I am supposed to d in January. I pray that this becomes clear at the right time!
