On Sunday, it hit me for the first time. The shift is coming. Yes, I've known for awhile that I'm going to China. But I've been so focused on the "going" part I kind of forgot that going also involves leaving. Leaving friends, leaving family, leaving comfort, leaving familiarity, leaving books, leaving libraries, leaving routines, leaving things I don't even know yet I'll be leaving. I hate loss.
It started because I was hanging out with my awesome neighbors who are moving on at the end of this month and next month, and as I was sitting there and we were talking about it, it hit me how much I will miss these girls. Then I started thinking about how soon after they leave, I will also leave.
Then on my way home I reflected how good He's been to me to give me almost a whole year without loss. I haven't experienced any loss since July 28, giving me time to recover and heal. I haven't lost friends, a job, or even a possession almost this whole year. What a gracious gift to me! This time to heal from loss, build up emotional strength to endure more loss as I leave has been invaluable.
I know once I get to China there will be new friends, new growth, new experiences, new favorite places, new colleagues, new good things, but I always am a mourner and mourn the loss of people and things I love deeply. It's nice to be the one going this time, because I've got new things to look forward to and enjoy.
But at the same time, I will so deeply miss all my friends here. So let's make the most of the time we have before I go! Text, call, make a time to hang out, let's enjoy the time we have while we have it!
Finally, let's look forward to the day when there will be no more loss. No more separation. No more departures, because we will be together forever in the Perfect City!!
